How To Deal With (Fish) Rejection

Getting rejected by a fish you really wanted to snag on your lure sucks. When it happens over and over again (obviously this is currently happening to me because this is another list blog), your self esteem starts to suffer. Why don’t fish want to bite? Did you do something wrong? Should you apologize? While its a tough situation, here’s some healthy and not-so-healthy options to give you the boost you need to grab that rod and try again (or at least get out of bed today).

Option A: Track Down All the Fish You Did Catch and See How They’re Doing

This is a tried and true classic. I think I’ve stared at this picture no less than 30 times today:

As you can tell, I really liked this fish. I even mentioned it on my last blog post. It was a big, strong fish with a lot of personality and something I thought I’d never pull off. But after catching it, I kinda thought I was somebody. It was a real Ol’ Jonny-got-his-groove type moment. I thought, “This whole fishing thing was going to be smooth sailing from now on, I’m just such a fishes man.” Well guess what, outside of catching a trout fishing this past month has got me feeling like this:

And guess what? I bet that lunker bass is just having the time of its life, chowing down on sunfish, eating the trout I’ve been trying to catch in that particular lake, and not giving a single thought to that super cool guy that caught it (I may have shrieked when I caught it). Because why would it? I was nothing to that fish but a fun and temporary ride through the water….

You know what? I wouldn’t try this now that I think about it. This was a bad idea. Moving on.

Option B: Seek Out Something That You Know is A Guaranteed Win

So sure maybe fish aren’t biting what you’re offering them lately. Well now is the time to ignore fishing for a bit and find something you know you’ll win at no matter what, solely just to build up your self esteem again. That is when I call up my buddy Myles and say, “Hey didski, I’m leaving for NY soon and I’ll be gone for awhile, want to play disc golf?” I make sure to guilt trip him with the leaving-to-NY-soon garbage, as if I’d actually ever want to see a dear friend before I travel back to school (cue Billy Madison song).

Don’t remember who Myles is? He’s this guy:

Whenever I feel down about myself I just play disc golf with Myles ‘cuz I know I’ll win. This numb-skull actually thought I wanted to hang out with him, LOL. As a real man, I was obviously just manipulating someone to temporarily boost my self esteem. And the fact that him and his very nice girlfriend paid for my dinner afterwards (because they feel bad about how poor I am…) was just another example of how nice guys finish last. What. A. Sucker.

I meant to end this section here but mini-rant, if you want another guaranteed success just play the Boston Red Sox in baseball. HERE’S AN IDEA, DON’T SERVE A HANGING CURVE BALL TO AARON JUDGE ON A SILVER PLATTER WHEN THE GAME IS TIED AT THE TOP OF THE 9TH.

Option C: Compare Your Fishing to Tommy’s Fishing

I mean…

Enough said, right? This works especially well when Tommy is no longer able to fish with you and possibly out-catch you.

Option D: Remember You Are Trying to Get a PhD in Economics and Do Some Work

….

……..

………….

PSYCH! LOL again, just kidding. Too many fish to (not) catch.

Option E: Boop Bubz on the Nose

A guaranteed way to put you in a better mood is to boop Bubz on the nose. If you don’t know what “boop” means it is pretty literal. You just poke the top of a dog’s nose and say “Boop!”. Now, I should note this should only be done once. Bubz isn’t the biggest fan of being booped, here is the typical look of Bubz post-boop (I’m getting a lot of squiggly red lines when writing boop, how is this not recognized by Webster-Miriam or whatever that stupid dictionary is called?):

Notice I don’t have a picture of me actually booping Bubz, lets just say it is a dangerous undertaking. Usually you can get one boop in, but I would never advise to go for the double boop. Bubz is both strong and quick. If you’ve already made him aware with one boop (see above photo), this is typically the outcome going for a second one:

So yeah now that I write this out I realize I’m just advising you to intentionally annoy and then expose your arm to a dog who has the capacity to take said arm an alarming distance away from your body (to be clear this distance is any distance away from your body ). I mean he’s too cute to not keep doing this so ultimately reward >>> risk in this situation (is that how you use the “>>>” thing? I am not hip despite what this blog of mine would indicate).

Correct Option: Realize Time Spent Fishing is Always a Good Time, Regardless of Results

The past few weeks, deciding to go fishing led me to places like this:

This:

And this:

Even when you don’t catch diddly-squat you still put yourself out there and enjoyed some nature, which is actually a very healthy thing to do.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Now, to be clear, I am a bit manic. I wouldn’t suggest fishing for 3-4 hours a day everyday. I debated long and hard with myself and Bubz about whether I should post the fisherman’s tan I currently have. The difference in complexion my skin possess across various parts of my body is startling. But I worked very hard for my current look, making sure to eat bagels in the morning, stand listlessly in hot sun from 4 – 8 pm, and drink some beers each one of these summer nights. I’m not about to just give it away for free for the ladies (no ladies have asked for this).

So these are the only options you have (well other than beers which I felt was too… on the nose? (I don’t quite understand this saying)) to help you get over when fish just simply don’t like you enough to bite your lure. Choose wisely, they all have there pros and cons.

In an unrelated note deciding to fish also let me take my niece fishing for the first time. It was very cool as an uncle and I was able to catch a fish to show her what they looked like in real life (it was good too that a few other brothers of mine were there to help out when I became too distracted trying to catch lunkers). She promptly responded, “Hold it like you held the fish you caught when fishing with your friend Tom.” So apparently she’s been reading the blog secretly at night too, which is why I keep this kid-friendly (she actually said this, I may have showed her the picture of me catching that trout but I don’t get how she knew the context and stuff, a 4-year-old fishing prodigy for sure). And to get that great little moment, all I had to do was…

Cast and Pray,

Jon