Tales From the Wild

Since I’ve started fishing I’ve ran into creatures I didn’t see nearly as often before. Here’s a few and all the knowledge you could possibly need about them (I’m assuming by now you know not to trust the latter statement):

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Mothra

I’m a pretty normal guy. I do Yoga with Adrienne 5 times a week, talk to my dog exclusively in a baby voice, and religiously read Harry Potter books over and over again – you know, manly stuff. But I have one true fear….

Moths. I don’t like moths. In fact I’m terrified of them. Not the little guys but the big fat ones. In fact I just shuddered thinking about them. Hey! Don’t laugh, mottephobia is a real condition that impacts dozens of Americans a year. Now imagine you’re enjoying a beverage on a cool summer night watching some TV when your brother shouts out, “Woah, huge moth outside on the door (the door I use most often)”. Assuming it was a luna moth (the big green ones), this was my reaction:

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I tried to find a picture of Bubz being scared but Bubz has only been scared twice. BOTH by our 16 year old, deaf, and mostly crippled (and mostly senile) family dog who occasionally decides to bite him. There’s no such thing as a bad dog but my goodness does Ruby push it. Anyways, Bubz’ reaction is always the same. He gives a small bite back (small is a funny word isn’t it? Completely relative. Lets just say if Bubz ever gives you a small bite (he would never) then you are going to lose that fight), then he runs over to me and literally sits on my lap. I don’t mean lays on my lap, he sits like a dog sits when told “sit!”, just on my lap. He is looking for reassurance that I wont let the big (actually half his size) mean girl dog hurt him. Here’s a picture of them “getting along”:

Sorry, anyways, here’s the picture of literally Mothra:

Yeah, I wasn’t kidding, this is my complete arch nemesis, but only if the situation is your arch nemesis dominates you at every possible turn. Basically like Voldemort and Harry Potter… I mean Harry is a good guy and all but Voldemort is better in every single facet except for understanding that not everyone is where you are from and… sorry, I’ll post my thesis on Harry Potter later.

I literally can’t use a door if a moth like that is on it. When I was taking this next picture it slowly fluttered its wings and I ran away, and not a small distance but around the house and back inside through the front door. I’ve seen enough Godzilla movies to know what these things are capable of, if anything not having mottephobia makes you crazy.

This is actually the cecropia moth, the largest moth in North America! No this wasn’t when I was fishing but some psychopaths might actually think this is cool. See the Atlas moth for largest moth in the world.

Bunny Rabbits

That last section went a tad long (and possibly manic), so here’s a short one. I found a bunny rabbit (that is their technical name). Here it is:

And here’s an up-close picture of them:

I’m considering bow-hunting so I might have a VERY different rabbit blog at some point.

Big, Aquatic BIRDS!

These are a few not-so-great pictures of a blue herron:

Blue herrons are quite literally the warden of whatever body of water you find them. I’ve seen them dive into the water and swim to get whatever they feel like. You’ll only ever see one of them in a pond, because similar to male badgers in Redwall, you only need one of them around to keep order. I had filleted a few fish recently and, smelling the meat, a blue herron landed 10 feet from me. Obviously, similar to the moth situation, I ran away and very quickly. You want to know whats better than a few Crappie fish fried up? Your life. Your life is a lot better….

I was fishing recently at a popular pond where I’m from and noticed every time I cast a pack of ducks would swarm where my lure landed. I couldn’t believe it but these ducks clearly had no fear of an alpha fisherman such as myself and clearly expected me to yield all of my food to them. Here’s a video of these audacious thugs:

Apparently ducks at this place are just as likely to attempt armed robbery as they are to swim around lazily….

Last, and 100% least, are Canadian Geese. Seriously, get the heck out of our country and back to your… I don’t even know, poutine?.. Or hockey? LOL. These things are terrifyingly large and occupy the path I walk Bubz at in central NY. Many a run by myself has proven they don’t fear me at all (I sheepishly walk around them), but luckily they do fear a certain companion of mine:

SIDE NOTE: If you are going to keep appreciating pictures of Bubz (of course you will he’s too handsome not to) then you should know Bubz’ favorite snack is goose poop. I don’t like it either but it makes him happy. I try to stop it but he makes very quick decisions about eating things off the ground and also if someone just presents me a beer at any point then yeah I’ll take it too so just think of it like that.

Charmander

Look I know by now that you probably think I’m a really cool guy that went to all the parties in college and didn’t care about classes at all. Now while the latter part of that statement was quite true shockingly enough I was not a party animal (one has to be invited to parties to be that), but instead dedicated hundreds of hours to playing stolen copies of the Pokemon gameboy games on my laptop (this entry comes with the assumption that you either are aware of Pokemon or that your children demanded you buy them something called “POKE-EE-MAHN”cards at some point. If you don’t fall under these categories I heavily advise you skip ahead).

Point being, I can identify a Pokemon when I see them, and this is a Charmander:

I don’t have much else to say really. Eventually these things evolve into Charmeleon and then the actual dragon Charizard. I admittedly haven’t seen this final form, but I think this serves as definitive evidence that a) Pokemon are real and b) there are a lot of fire-breathing dragons around Central Mass but they are very sneaky….

This is the Eastern Newt. Apparently they have a middle stage between being born and adulthood where they just roam land completely orange. The other two parts of it’s life they are completely aquatic and totally different colors.

Bubz

Bubz’s are quite rare, I’ve only ever encountered one of them myself, though I find they are rather persistent creatures around breakfast and dinner time. If you encounter one in the wild, be careful. They can best be described as “aggressively friendly” (LIVE UPDATE: Ruby just barked randomly and Bubz immediately came over to make eye contact with me for assurance he was not about to be attacked). If spotted outside, they can often be found about to fall into a brook. And I mean fall, they literally just decide to walk towards a body of water with no understanding that the ground won’t stay solid forever, here is a typical siting:

Bubz’s are also known for sometimes doing naughty things, such as deciding to eat the rest of the ranch you were going to dip vegetables in, so you can usually find them in jail. Here’s what I mean:

Other than that, you can find them lazing about grasslands, waiting for a squirrel to come challenge their domain. They are of course a majestic creature:

Myles

Myles’s, similar to Bubz’s, are a very rare thing to find in the wild. Here’s one we (Tommy, my brother, and myself) found at a local lake (which forbid swimming but we swam in it):

Finding a Myles is sweet, they are genuinely nice creatures who are always down to have a beer and do something. That last part is important, Myles’s don’t like sitting around watching sports, so if you want them to stick around you better have a Kan Jam set up outside. Luckily we had a frisbee at hand and were able to get this fella to come out and hang with us. Unfortunately, because Myles’s refuse to return your texts, finding them in the wild is about the only way to spend time with them.

Another clearly identifying feature of a Myles is their incredible sense of style. Here is their patented golf polo – gym shorts – high socks – boots look:

Ideally you’ll have some beers from that communist collective known as Vermont on you if you want to find a Myles…

That’s all I have for the native wildlife so far (though this will be a running post I hope), I thought I had a sweet picture of a turtle (which I would have called Bulbasaur *EDIT* THIS SHOULD SAY SQUIRTLE) but Tommy lacks dedication and wouldn’t jump into some extremely polluted water. I wish I could take a picture of every cool thing I’ve seen while fishing up to this point but unsurprisingly wild animals move very quickly. It is why, despite the extremely high quality of this blog, I encourage you to…

Cast and pray,

Jon (here is Bubz trying to “say hi” to a poor woodchuck)